10 Notes to my Pregnant Self

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My daughter Niamh is nearly three months old now, and I have to say that those first few weeks of Motherhood were wonderful but down right hard work. If I could have told myself then what I know now, this would be it…

1. You will be in a state of awe and admiration when you first see Niamh. I know you are worrying right now about whether you will feel that love that everyone tells you you will feel, but it will happen and it will take you by surprise. The biggest shock of all is that you will fall in love with her more and more each day, and you won’t be able to remember your life before her. You will also regularly think ‘what did I do all day before I was a Mum?!’

2. But you will also fantasise about being alone some days too. This doesn’t make you a bad Mother, don’t feel guilty about it and the good news is you will have a day at the spa for your birthday in February and you will love it! You will have a massage and you will get five minutes to read a book and you will have a glass of champagne! Fantasise about these moments of bliss when you are having a particularly rough hour.

3. Accept offers of help. Family members will offer to help, they are not just saying it now to be kind. Accept them – you really will not have time to make yourself lunch, have a bath or brush your teeth without them.

4. You will argue with your Paul over the smallest things. Make a pact now to let small arguments slip and blame it on lack of sleep. You are a strong unit and you will get through this. It is all so worth it as you will be a lovely little family of three.

5. Your body will change but it won’t look as bad as you are thinking it will and it really becomes less and less important as you reflect on what your body went through and what it has produced – a healthy, beautiful precious little girl. Be proud of what it has achieved.

6. Don’t be afraid to go out of the house. Don’t worry about Niamh crying in public and you not knowing what to do, you will know what to do, and soon you will recognise each cry and know exactly how to soothe her. Staying cooped up for long periods of time is not good for you, so no matter how daunting it may seem, get outside, even if it’s just a walk to the shop. And believe it or not, Niamh is not the only baby who cries and you are not a bad mother if she does cry. Sometimes baby’s just cry.

7. If something doesn’t feel right, stop doing it. Breast-feeding goes better than you thought it would, but there will also come a time when it’s best that you stop doing it, go with this and don’t feel bad about it. A happy Mum equals a happy Baby and that’s the most important thing.

8. People will judge you. But hey no-one is perfect and you can only do your best. Ignore them and do what feels right for you and your family. Sometimes breast-feeding, co-sleeping and wearing a sling all day just don’t work. Trust your instincts and be brave.

9. And sorry for this annoying one… but you really are not as tired now as you will be! You have heard this a lot and it has annoyed you, but unfortunately it is true. Get all the rest you can, while you can, you will not believe how difficult life is when you don’t get to sleep. But be patient this lack of sleep thing really doesn’t last forever (mostly because you get used to it!)

10. Enjoy Niamh as much as you can. Although only three months have passed, she is so different already and has a personality of her own now. You will never get those moments back, so despite the challenging times, try to revel in the pleasure as much as you can, she won’t be a bay forever.